I was in Canberra recently to attend The Mental Health Services Learning Network 2024 Conference where the theme ‘Finding Common Ground’' was explored by clinicians, consumers, carers, researchers, educators and policy makers who are all working hard to improve mental health services and supports.
During The Mental Health Service (TheMHS) Awards of Australia and New Zealand Awards Ceremony, I was proud to be presented with TheMHS Lived Experience Changemaker (Carers/ Family/ Whanau) Award.
The new award category was launched this year and TheMHS Awards Manager Lyndal Sherwin wrote that “The purpose of the Lived Experience Change Maker Awards is to capture, elevate and honour the lived experience informed influence and impact of individuals that demonstrate passion and vision for change.”
Thank you to TheMHS Awards Committee for recognising the value and meaning of what I am doing. I am lucky to be part of some special organisations that have regular, meaningful social connections at the heart of what they do which means that when life does get hard we’re there for each other.
The award prompted me to reflect on my 25+ years in a family caring role and it saddens me that carers are largely underappreciated, systems are hard to navigate and so many barriers to access support still exist. As a man in this role it often feels like you don’t exist, that the state and peak bodies who are meant to advocate and support all carers do not recognise that there are almost 1 million Australian men in the family/friend caring role.
With decades of lived experience as a carer and my own mental health challenges I have had people who work in the carer space, mental health and suicide prevention ignore, dismiss and minimise my perspective.
My understanding of lived experience is that every perspective is valid and is considered when designing services and supports yet my experience is that if it doesn’t fit nicely within the system that exists you are being difficult.
Over the past 25+ years, I have met and spoken with local, state and federal politicians about the challenges of men in caring roles. I have presented at National and International Conferences. I have Participated in roundtables and working groups, filled out surveys, provided feedback on programs and written submissions to inquiries.
It makes me sad to say, but I have yet to see any meaningful, ongoing effort to recognise and better support men like myself. Even more upsetting is that there is seemingly little interest in doing so.
"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new" -Socrates.
On the upside, my experiences have led me down a road where through support and guidance from others I have been able to find purpose and connection which has given me hope for the future. Sharing this with others has created a positive ripple effect that I hope has given something positive to others like me who have life experience of loneliness, depression, suicide, grief, trauma and anxiety.
In the past I have chosen to stay away from awards and recognition, I am first and foremost a volunteer and do what I do because it gives me purpose and connection, the reward is simply that other blokes turn up and we get to share stories, have a laugh and support each other. I feel like TheMHS Lived Experience Changemaker (Carers/ Family/ Whanau) Award recognises what we have created together through the MCT North West Mates as a positive and unique way of giving and getting help which, as the Socrates quote says, enables us to focus energy into building something new.
The award is recognition that people with lived experience who are proactive and seeking change in a system that is often ridged and cold should not only be listened to, but supported in what they are doing.
For the opportunity to share your work with people in my community I want to say thank you to Terry Cornick and the team at Mr Perfect, Mark Burns and the crew at The Man Walk and the late Gavin Larkin, founder of R U OK? along with the caring and supportive team in the R U OK? office.
Men Care Too would not be able to operate as it does with the backing of IRIS Foundation, for seeing the value and meaning of Men Care Too I am grateful to have the support and guidance of Sue, Dawn, Bev and the team at IRIS Foundation.
Most importantly I want to say thanks to my amazing, beautiful mum Lyn. She has a kind and caring nature, is strong and resilient with a great sense of humour and ability to see the good in life that inspires me daily.
To finish I want to share a quote that we can all live by, it’s from part time philosopher, TV weatherman and former Ghostbuster Bill Murray, he said;
“Life is hard, if you can help someone in any way that’s cool”.
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