Doubt and Confidence - Carers Week 2025

Frustrated and calm.

Overwhelmed and content

Scared, strong, lost, valued, alone and forgotten.

These are just a few of the emotions and feelings that regularly come up for me as a full-time carer. Sometimes they sneak up all at once ... an odd mix of doubt and confidence that makes it hard to know, or trust what I’m thinking. Finding an outlet for these thoughts has helped me put things into perspective and made some difficult times a little less daunting.

For National Carers Week I wanted to share my thoughts on what carer support means to me.

Every caring role is unique and support for carers can be complicated although one thing that many people in caring roles seem to have in common is feelings of isolation and loneliness. Time spent feeling alone and disconnected is when those thoughts can start to build up and become more difficult to see past. The theme of isolation and loneliness often shows up in reports and research, in conversations with carers and from my own experiences.

I spent years looking for services and supports that could help guide me away from those feelings or help me better manage, yet all I found were sign up forms for short courses or intense programs. If there was something that looked interesting, I quickly became disinterested when page after page of questions appeared about my caring role and the person I cared for to see if I met the criteria to take part.

Why is it so complicated and time consuming to access a service or support?

What I missed was sitting around at smoko with my workmates chatting about footy and seeing who could answer the newspaper quiz questions quickest.

Social connection is what I needed.

One of the key protective factors talked about in suicide prevention, and beneficial for improved wellbeing, is belonging to a social group. Having a few different people you can turn to when life gets tough can make a huge difference.

I found my social connections over coffee, around the BBQ, walking with mates and being part of a network of people who value and encourage real conversations.

Through Men Care Too, Mr Perfect, The Man Walk and R U OK? I found the social connection, purpose and hope that to me represents carer support.

Carer peer support is mentioned in the latest National Suicide Prevention Strategy as having demonstrated improvements in carer wellbeing, reduced carer burden and improved empowerment. The same strategy also states that men value non-clinical support that promotes social interaction.

The magic of why the coffee, BBQ and walking catch up’s work well for men is that there are no forms, no registrations and you can be involved as much or as little as you like. Based on my own experiences and talking with other blokes in caring roles, simply having somewhere to go where you can spend some time around other men, chat about life and know that you’re not alone can make a huge difference.

We could fill the MCG almost 10 times with the number of men in Australia who are caring for family or friends with illness or disability so for carers week, I want to encourage men who are in these caring roles to make the time and effort to build your social connections. It might feel a little uncomfortable or awkward at first but over time, you’ll more than likely make some great mates you’d wish you met sooner.